On any given day, a scroll through social media may reveal a post mourning the loss of a family member. “I am heartbroken” is a common refrain—but the grief is not always for a person. Often, it is for a furry companion.
“We love our pets. We’re close to them. We’re attached to them and have relationships with them,” said therapist Dr. Diana Theiss. “We think of them as part of our family, particularly for older people, that may be their primary companion.”
Veterinarian Dr. Emily Grant calls quality of life the most important factor in deciding when to euthanize a pet. “There’s a lot of emotions involved, and the biggest thing is that I want to be here to support the family on whatever decision they make. We have some tools to help us kind of make that decision here on the medical side.”
It is a difficult but not an uncommon dilemma. 87 million dogs and 76 million cats live in America’s households. VCA SylvaniaVET provides pet owners with a check list to evaluate when to put down an animal. “We always want to do it early versus a day too late,” adds Dr. Grant. “Knowing the signs when quality of life has progressed to the point where this may be the kindest thing to do is to end suffering.”
Dr. Theiss cautions people not to underestimate the emotional toll a pet’s death can take. “The stages are still going to feel all of the things that come with real grief. The aftermath is different when a family member dies. There’s ceremonies, traditions, and people get together. There are institutional ways that people are supported in grief when a person dies. But when their pet passes, they don’t have that same level of support and may not feel as comfortable even reaching out for that kind of support from other people. And other people may not really understand how significant that loss is for them.”
Experts including Dr. Theiss recommend that people acknowledge their feelings. “Don’t minimize. There’s no shame in having those feelings. They’re normal and they’re real.” She adds that talking with others or writing about their pet can be helpful. Dr. Grant suggests her office and other vets can provide or recommend professional support services. Some area organizations even offer pet funerals.
Still, saying goodbye to a beloved pet is never easy. “I feel fortunate that we can offer this service to pets who are suffering or in significant pain,” said Dr. Grant. “It is a gift we can give them.”
