“Who you are has more than a little to do with who your father was, and his father before him.” 

My father didn’t talk much; he worked. An immigrant, he was a product of his generation, a strong, self-sufficient man, he kept his feelings to himself. And while the “strong, silent type” can be appealing in motion pictures and romance novels, it’s not helpful for a child growing up; not for the child, not for the father. What I know of his history came from others, and through his tears at weddings and graduations. It is one of the few regrets of my life that I did not prompt his story from him. 

Don’t make the same mistake I did. 

Too many of us assume our stories aren’t worth telling. “Who would be interested in me? My life isn’t particularly remarkable. I didn’t do anything special.”

I disagree.

It’s far more than likely that our children, our family and friends, want to know about us. They deserve to know. To know the details, the stories, the ups and downs, the fears and pleasures. When I think about my own life (I’ve begun a memoir), it is enough for me to believe that anyone who wished to do so might satisfy their curiosity and, through my story, learn a bit about their heritage, perhaps learn something about themselves. I need no agenda beyond that. It is enough.

Stories are magical; the small stories may ultimately be the most important ones. Your grandchildren will be fascinated to know how you met their grandmother, what sports you played, what your first job was, what you worried about when you were a child; how you overcame your problems and fears. And you needn’t sanitize your story. Younger generations don’t need us to pretend we always made the right decisions. They may learn more from the times we failed, recovered, and tried again. 

The ordinary details of our lives become history, your history, faster than we realize.

RELATED: 60 YEARS LATER: THIS NORTHWEST OHIO FAMILY REUNION IS STILL GOING STRONG

If you chose to take this path, modern technology, with all its problems and frustrations, has made things easier. Here are some suggestions:

• Audio and Video Recordings

• Have someone interview you. Record the conversation. Video is best. 

• Answers the questions in “Grandfather/Grandmother Remembers”, a children’s book.

• • Create a Digital Photo Album

• Digitize your photos. Create an album (through Shutterfly) by adding commentary and stories to the photos. 

• • Create a Family Tree

• A family tree will tell a grandchild who his great-grandfather was. A photograph can show what he looked like. A story can make him come alive.

• • Begin a Journal

• Record your random thoughts and memories, real-time. 

• • Write a Memoir/Autobiography (it can be self-published for around $2000 through Amazon)

• “Start it at no particular time in your life; wander at your free will all over your life; talk only about the thing which interests you for the moment; drop it at the moment its interest threatens to pale, and turn your talk upon the new and more interesting thing that has intruded itself into your mind meantime.” Mark Twain

Most important, don’t wait until you think you have something notable to say. Someday, someone who loves you may want to know what you were like when you were young. What made you laugh. What scared you. What you believed. What you learned. You won’t be there to answer.   

Your stories can be.

So, if you’ve spent a lifetime collecting memories, don’t take them with you.

Marvin Weinbaum, M.Ed.

Marvin Weinbaum is a senior life coach and columnist. He writes about aging with purpose, dignity, curiosity and resilience, translating insight into practical guidance for everyday life. Feel free to send your questions to [email protected]